AMERICAN WINE SOCIETY
A non-profit corporation

John Marshall Chapter


He who lies with dogs rises with fleas.

That's the only Spanish proverb I know, and it appears to have little to do with wine —
so much for continuing Fletcher's tradition of opening with a wine proverb, I'm afraid. But muddle we must,
so with a tip of the sombrero to Fletch for 3 years of wine commentary and criticism that bordered on genius,
we breathe deeply, gather up the pieces, and stumble off into the brave new year.
[If only the Spaniards had said, " He who drinks with dogs..."]


DECEMBER MEETING

December's meeting — yes, club business did actually transpire — took place in the living room of Ted and Catherine Goshorn's house in The Plains amid all the evidence of Holiday cheer. The business was mercifully brief, the food and drink were great, the company was great, the house and decorations were beautiful, the evening was most memorable, and we all stand and applaud the Goshorns for letting us use their house again — and use up all their water. Sorry about that!
 

JANUARY MEETING

On January 12th, the SECOND Sunday in January, we will meet at the JOHN PAGE TURNER HOUSE. Our social will begin at 6:30 p.m. followed by the tasting at 7:00 p.m. Bruce Schaefer and Renee Beck will present, "Send in the Geeks: Robert Parker meets Consumer Reports."

All of us have occasion to rely on someone else's recommendations for wines. You go — as I did — to the wine store to get a bottle of bubbly for New Years, and lo, they're out of Gruett from New Mexico. You ask the clerk, what his preference would be of what's on hand. And you learn — as I did — that you don't ask any wine clerk who works in a Montgomery County-operated liquor store even what day it is: regrets, you'll have a few...

So who do you trust? Wine Spectator and Wine Enthusiast magazines write up and rate nearly every wine on the planet. But they also advertise wines in their pages, and some people — dark hearted, cynical sorts  — feel that perhaps the resulting ratings are not entirely ... ingenuous. Does that Gallo Hearty Burgundy really deserve 99 points?

How about Robert Parker, the colossus of wine criticism, the father of the art: Surely he does not bow to the winemakers' filthy lucre. Can we not believe Him? Not if you listen to Rick Stafford, our erstwhile importer who says Parker has not a single good word to say about South African wines. Maybe Parker has other blind sides: hates wines from Maryland, Gawd forbid. Oy, what's a person to do?

Enter Consumer Reports. This is the magazine that tests toasters, turkey basters, toothbrushes, and a swarm of other things that don't start with T. They tipped us off in the '70's to Japanese cars, warned us long before our government about SUVs flipping over, have prompted countless product recalls [and lawsuits], and in general have behaved in the public weal. Why? Because they accept no advertising. El Zippo. And they don't allow companies to use their ratings in advertising either. In other words, these people are "beyond reproach."

But what do they know about wine? C'mon, they're nerds in white lab coats and clipboards, running around measuring and quantifying and solving equations for X. What can they possibly know or tell us about nose, bouquet, chewy vanillins - alma?

Yet that's what they've been doing for 2 years now, and Sunday we will see to what avail. We will select several of their top-raters, see how the other guys scored them, and discover for ourselves the Awesome Truth. Subscription forms will be available.
 

ORGANIC/BIODYNAMIC WINES: THE REAL POOP

We discussed this last month, but the topic was ground-breaking and needs more dissemination. The subject was "French Organic/Biodynamic Wines," presented by Jason Bise of Country Vintner. Organic wines and other products are fairly straightforward: no chemicals or non-biological influences can be used in their production.

But BioDynamics was a new one, certainly to this observer, and boy, what a revelation. BioDynamics posits the question, "What is the highest to which a grape can aspire?" Like Abraham Maslow's self-actualizers in the human world, Biodynamics tries to produce a super-grape, and therefrom a superwine. Wanna know how? Hold onto your seats.

First you get a cow's horn. You can do this in one of three ways:

  1. Saw one off a cow. We are told that though there may be some pain to the cow, another will grow back.
  2. Scour the range for one that's been broken off accidentally, thus avoiding guilt for the pain.
  3. Follow a cow around till he dies, then cut it off. No pain, no bad juju.
Cow horn in hand, proceed to Step 2: Fill it full of cow poop. That's right. And for best results, the poop should come from the same cow. No advice is offered here on how to accomplish that; you're on your own.

Step 3 is simple: Bury said horn under the grape vine. And in due time, voila - Super Syrah! Ah, the bouquet, the vanillins, the brix. And did you catch that trace of guano on the nose? Merveilleux!!!

Now THAT was a presentation to behold! And there's more where that came from, starting next week. So come out, bring a friend and a smile, and join the fun.
 

See you not longly but shortly,

Bruce