AMERICAN WINE SOCIETY
A non-profit corporation

John Marshall Chapter


FEBRUARY MEETING:  Solving the Syrah-Shiraz Conundrum,  presented by Mike O'Donnell

In February, Mike O’Donnell introduced us to the wonders of the Syrah grape as revealed by winemakers of France, California, Virginia and Australia, where the blokes like to call it sha-razz (which rhymes with jazz, not sheer-oz, as the limeys are wont to say).  He produced eight, count ’em, examples of the species as shown in the following table.
Producer
 Region
 Cost
St. Joseph France $13
Horton Virginia $18
Bonny Doon California $22
Grampion Australia $10
Cornas France $37
Croze Hermitage France $20
Qupe California $17
Sobon California $17

The Sobon was the big favorite of the evening, with 10 people out of 20 selecting it as the best. And, as man does not live by wine alone, incredible morsels were provided for the multitudes by Jennifer Crafts. Among the aforementioned delicacies was delicious homemade hummus with pita bread, pears, cheeses, and grapes in small bunches — can you tell that some of us are on Atkins?  In all, it was an evening not to be missed, and a happy lot of us didn’t. If you did, don’t do it again.

MARCH MEETING:  California De-Napafied, Part I – The Santa Cruz Mountains,  presented by Bruce Schaefer and Renee Beck ~ John Page Turner House, The Plains, Virginia; Social – 6:30 p.m.; Meeting – 7:00 p.m.

Twenty years ago, Napa was a wonderful day trip destination that offered great wines in beautiful wineries amid quaint western towns and spectacular natural beauty — and all it cost was a few bucks for gas and food along the way! Then, tour buses began to appear, and gridlock started on weekends. Next, tasting fees sprouted in self-defense against the freeloaders. Today, it’s crowded, expensive, and crassly commercial. As BB King puts it, the thrill is gone.

Just a few miles away, you can still find the old good stuff in the Russian River and Sonoma valleys. Why? Because you’ve never heard of them. And, California offers many other wine destinations similarly enchanting. Next Sunday, Bruce and Renee will introduce the wines and wineries of a region barely 20 miles from the San Jose airport and 40 miles from the San Fransisco airport. The Santa Cruz mountains offer redwood forests, Pacific Ocean sunsets, old-time logging town, and wonderful wines. The wineries are fun and so are the roadside attractions and dining spots. A trip there will cost a fraction of a weekend in today’s Napa Valley. Get enough skinny Sunday to book your own trip.

Directions:

MARCH MEETING: Terroir in the Middle East – Wines of Lebanon, presented by Mary Anne and Mike Wassenberg ~ Grace Cathedral, The Plains, Virginia; Social – 6:30 p.m.; Meeting – 7:00 p.m.

For a lot of us, the mention of Lebanon, Egypt, Jordan, and anything that hints of the Middle East, conjures up images of suicide bombers, mayhem, reprisals and terror in general. So next month’s presentation may come as a relief as we learn that there are niches of normalcy in that region where people just like us create and appreciate good wine. Continuing their tradition of introducing us to great wines from God-forsaken places — last year it was Missouri — Mike and Mary Anne Wassenburg take us next month to Lebanon, where winemaking dates back to the Phoenicians and Greeks. That was long before the French figured it out.

So join us wine jihadis as we investigate terroir in the Middle East. There will be peace-loving people gathered about the negotiating table, and dissent will revolve around whether a wine is white or red. Security will be provided by George Wilson’s wine-sniffing dog.

Note that this tasting will be rescheduled to the first Sunday of the month since the second Sunday is Easter.

WINO WISDOM:   Men, Pay Attention To The Ancient Art Of Sabrage

At this point, ladies, us guys are going to talk about tools a bit, so you may wish to switch off your laptops and go back to whatever you were doing: washing the dishes, scrubbing floors, resolving the final equations of the string theory, ... We’ll see you next month.

Gather ’round gents. Tonight’s topic is Phillips head vs. flathead. Tom is now going to demonstrate by unscrewing an electrical outlet with a Phillips head screwdriver.

Tom is now crawling under the table towards the outlet.  Tom, is that your butt peeking out of your pants?
…
…
…

Ok guys, the girls are gone. The butt thing gets them every time.  Now then, serious business: As I told you last month, I am going to present to you today a way to recover a huge chunk of the manhood we lost in the last generation, and it has to do with wine.

Gentlemen, I present to you SABRAGE. I quote here now from http://www.champagneclub.org/sabrage.html. The time honoured art of Sabrage, i.e., opening a bottle with a sabre, is the most traditional way to open a bottle of Champagne. Dating back to Napoleonic days, it involves using a sword to cleanly slice the end and cork off a bottle. The technique does not specifically involve extracting the cork, but actually removing the whole top of the bottle. The art is still practiced today in the more exclusive and traditional societies, including the Military and other organisations.

There are many stories on how the tradition of sabrage started. One of the most spirited is that, during Napoleon's time, Madame Clicquot, the Mistress of the Veuve-Clicquot Champagne house, had a habit of entertaining soldiers at her vineyards. Upon leaving, she gave them bottles of Champagne. As the soldiers rode off on horseback they were unable to open the bottles, so whilst keeping control of the horse they drew their sabres and beheaded the bottle with a stroke of the blade.

The article goes on to explain in detail how to do it. You can read it later. The question I present to you now is: Why stop at champagne?

I can hear it now, a murmuring among yourselves, then a brave voice:  Wait a minute, wine scribe, are you suggesting opening wines as well as champagnes with a sword? And my answer to you, in a word:  Yes. And in two words:  Why not? Ah, I hear another rumbling, then a clamor, then, in a fevered pitch: Are you CRAZY?! What about shards of glass? What about severed limbs, loss of blood? What about LAWSUITS, wine scribe, what about the LAWSUITS??!! To which I answer simply but calmly: SHUT UP!!

You whimpering puddles of snot! Spineless jellyfish, can you hear yourselves? Have you any doubt how we got into this mess? Did our forefathers worry about limbs and lawsuits? No! They stepped up to the bottle and beheaded it with a swift backhand of their swords, to the utter astonishment and admiration of all within view. And if some bystander lost an arm or received a tracheotomy, well,  that’s life, isn't it? Harsh sometimes, yes, but… there you are. You have another arm, don’t you? Then, get over it. Move on with your life. That’s what Dr. Phil would say.

I’m hearing only dead silence. One of you, I can tell, is not convinced. So for you I have gone a step further. I will now show you how to cover your butts — yours too, Tom. You know how, at our meetings, we are told that if you join the national AWS organization, they will cover you if you get in an accident going home from the meeting? Well, buried in the fine print of that insurance policy is something called Rider X – Coverage Against Sabrage. For $5 more per year, you can cover yourself against whiny lawsuits about severed limbs, slashed throats, eyes poked out, and other collateral damage arising from sabrage.

Now, are you satisfied? Can we proceed, gentlemen? Good. Now here are your assignments. By next month, you are to:
  1. Purchase your swords from the website above. Prices range from $90 to $190. Get quality; this is no time for cheapness.
  2. Join AWS and sign up for Rider X.
  3. Begin practicing your backhand. Start out on 2-liter pop bottles. Next month we’ll move on to mason jars, then wine. A tip: first drink the pop, then fill the bottle with water. Don’t waste good pop.
Next month, I will instruct you on how to put your act together. And in May I will show you how to take it on the road. Gawd, the things I do for you guys. Maybe next year Mel Gibson will make a movie about me.
 

And that’s it for this month. See you all on Sunday!

Your humble scribe,

~ Bruce ~

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